Friday, June 17, 2011

STOB's Movie Characters You Don't Want to Have a Beer With

Its summer and we have already given you our Summer Movie Preview - Click on link to read post -,
Now keeping with our movie mood we are in we bring you our scariest movie characters. Not all are villains, though many are, but what we all agree upon is that they are all creepy. This is a guest heavy post with guest opinions from Emily, Brock, Luke, Peter and Jeremy. So without any further ado let’s take a look at the Creepiest STOB Movie Characters.


I don’t know what it is about 80’s movies but they scare the crap out of me. I think it has to do with the dark lighting and the poor camera quality. Any movie, scary or not, was always just a little bit scarier because of the lighting. Scary movie characters that come to mind are Strip, from Gremlins, E.T., from E.T., Large Marge, from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, but the scariest thing I have ever seen, HANDS DOWN, has to be the Garbage Pail Kids.These kids forever changed my views of toddlers.  See link for movie description.



Some of my fears:

Farms - Why? The isolation that you feel, as a kid who grew up in the 'burbs I am used to having people close by and it's somewhat comforting to know help is nearby if you find yourself in a bad situation.

Chainsaws - Why? They are dangerous when used correctly, use the thing in a violent aggressive matter and they are crazy. Plus the things are just noisy as heck, which adds to the mayhem that is brought when a chainsaw is used as a murder weapon. Sure a machete can do much of the same things as a chainsaw, but the lack of "raaangg ra ra ra raaaaaaaaaaaang" noise makes it less intimidating.

Masks - Why? If someone has something to hide behind a mask they are probably not someone I want to have a beer with.

Let's see what the Texas Chainsaw Massacre's Leatherface has going for him in regards to my fears: Farm site for the killing - check, chainsaw used as murder weapon - check and mask - check (and mask made of victim's skin on top of that). Dude is creepy as all get out. Letherface has a bit of realism to him as well that other villains in movies don't have, he was loosely based on Ed Gein a real serial killer. As stated in the Summer Movie Preview for STOB I am not a Superhero fan, the main reason is I have a tough time buying things that have zero realism to them. Even though he is only loosely based on reality, Leatherface still creeps me out and comes to my mind when driving through rural areas and I see a run down farm.


Derrick recently asked us to pick a character from a movie that scared us as a child or an adult. Well, it took some time, but I think I know what I’m going with. The Cable Guy. That’s right, Chip Douglas. That is one creepy dude. Jim Carrey made me never want to order cable or befriend a stranger ever again. Sure, he buys his buddy a “date” and takes him out to a nice medieval time’s dinner, but he is messed up.

He stalks Steven 24/7 and just won’t leave him alone. Yeah, he will buy ya a Heineken, but is it worth it? I don’t think so. I’d rather go to a party with all of the Children of the Corn than play a single pick up basketball gamy with Chip Douglas.


I looked over my shoulder at night walking home for a whole summer.


I'm going to say "Candy Man". I can't find a good pic though...there are a couple of scenes. One where he has wasps crawling in and out of his mouth, nose, etc... and its horrrrrible and another (if my young memory serves me right) where he is in a fire at the end and all his skin is melting off.


The Princess Bride is a fantastic adventure movie. Andre the Giant, Christopher Guest, Cary Ewes and Robin Wright. Billy Crystal, The kid from Wonder Years, Peter Faulk and whatever actors played Vizinni and Inigo Montoya. Great cast, great jokes great story, great mustaches and great sword fighting are all on display in this classic.

But when Princess Buttercup dove into the sea in an escape attempt only to have the Shrieking Eels start circling as Andre the Giant and Vizinni watched on the ship above, I may have wet my 8 year old pants.

The only thing scarier was later in the film when Wesley and Buttercup venture through the Fire Swamp and were attacked by the R.O.U.S. (Rodents Of Unusual Size). Seeing a rat the size of a pit bull gnawing on Cary Ewes arm (foreshadowing for his role in Saw 1 perhaps?) was enough to ensure my footsie pajama one-sie was thoroughly sodden.


This is the Troll from Ernest Scared Stupid. I saw this when I was a kid and it haunted my dreams. It’s power was turning children, or adults, into little wood statues, and then stealing their voice so it could talk like them.


Saw Child’s Play 2 at a sleepover one night. For about the next year I had a care bear that I thought would come to life and kill me. I stuck it in the closet and that is where it stayed.

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