Friday, August 19, 2011

STOB's: Kardashian Wedding Drinking Game (pre-wedding warm up game included)

We know all STOB’ers are very excited for Saturday night. 

“Yes we are Viking preseason game!  Woo! Two possessions by players that mean anything this year! Can’t wait!” 

Ok calm down there Football McGee, I am not talking sports here…oh no…it’s the Kim Kardashian wedding.

“Why is STOB writing about the Kardashian wedding?”

Good question, well for one we have a girlfriend/fiancé/wife and with that comes the reality that we have watched some of the reality shows including the clan they call Kardashian.  Much more so though friends, it is a great way to get a drinking game going. 

So because we know a lot of you STOB’ers are probably guys and probably have significant others who will want to watch this, we are here for you (as always) and have come up with a “Kardashian Wedding Drinking Game!” 

This is to help you get through a TWO night affair on October 9th and 10th totaling 4 hours AND all the Keeping Up with the Kardashians shows leading up to the extravaganza in the next two months.  Yeah, you’ll need a drink or twenty.


-There are 2 categories:

-Anytime – These are for either the lead up KUWTK shows or during the wedding itself.

-Wedding Only – These are for watching the wedding only (check back a week or two before the wedding we may have updated and added to these)

-You can bow out if you feel as if you may pass out either from drinks or the complete stupidity of the show in general.

-Final Rule…Drink up Sally!

Reminder to print this off, have it close to you, also stock up on your drink of choice you’ll need a lot of it and stretch your drink lifting arm/hand to ensure you don’t cramp up midway through the wedding marathon.

Oh yeah…and drink responsibly.


Drink – Every time Kim and Kris Humphries (Mr. Kardashian) kiss. (Ahh…starting with a cute one….no not really, we are starting with one that will for sure get you trashed)

Drink – Every time the producers make it seem Scott (Kourtney’s baby daddy and recovering alchy (quitter)) is about to start drinking again at wedding festivities or ever.

Drink – Kris (the mom) neuters Bruce Jenner in front of everyone by ignoring him, laughing at him, not with him, taking him as serious as the general public takes the wedding vows being recited, and in general making him look like an idiot on national TV.

2 Drinks – Every time E! goes to commercial with a panicking Kris/Kourtney/Khloe/Kim/Kris Humphries/Bruce, worried about the wedding maybe not happening.

Drink – Anytime a Kardashian talks bad about how the paparazzi are ruining the wedding or whatever festivity, even though without the paparazzi the Kardashians as a whole would be known as Bruce Jenner’s step kids.

Drink – Every time either Kourtney or Khloe are annoyingly acting like 5 year olds.

Drink – Every time the Kardashians go out to eat as a group.

Drink – Every time Kourtney brings up her kid (Mason)

Drink – Every time Mason is taking a nap (pretty much always).

Drink 2 – Drink every time you see an obvious face lifted person trying to smile or make a facial expression only for it to continue to be the same facial expression. (Keep your eyes on Bruce Jenner and Kris Jenner/Kardashian)

Social – Every time the Kardashian brother (I don’t know his name…don’t want to waste my time Googling it…so we’ll call him “Douchey”) Douchey acts….douchey.  (Since it’s a social drink you and the group you are with will make the judgment call)

Drink – Whenever someone slams a door in anger.

Drink – For every Range Rover shown.

Drink – Every time Lamar Odom shows complete disinterest in the show, Khloe and life in general.

Drink – For any commercials that are for products endorsed by a Kardashian.

Drink – Every time they show the ring that Kim bought herself.

Social – Every time you think Kim’s lady lumps are going to pop out or Khloe is going to have a nip slip moment.

Wedding Only - 

Drink – For every time a cork is popped, be it champagne or wine.

Drink – For every NBA player you see at the wedding/festivities.

Give a Drink – If you are first to name the NBA player at the wedding/festivities.

Give 2 Drinks – If the player you named was a New Jersey Net not named Deron Williams.

Social – Every time you see a look of “WTF am I doing?” in Humphries eye’s.

Drink – Every time Kim gushes, “OMG-eeeee how beautiful is my Vera Wang (ha…Wang) dress?” in a valley girl voice.

Drink – Every time any family member gushes about the dress in annoying fashion as well.

And Finally…

Social – For when the vows are exchanged and “You may kiss the bride,” is announced.

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