Monday, October 3, 2011

STOB's Updated: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Wedding Drinking Game

Way back on August 19th we gave you the "STOB's: Kardashian Wedding Drinking Game (pre-wedding warm up game included)".  This was a resource for all of you that had to put up with the Keeping Up with the Kardashians season after the announcement of the big Kardashian wedding between Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian.  If you made it through that then you are probably in line to spend TWO nights watching the actual taped wedding and preparations that will air on E! on October 9th and 10th.

Never fear, STOB is here again for you with an updated Kardashian Wedding Drinking Game!  Get your favorite hangover cure ready for October 10th and 11th for the mornings after playing this game that is sure to get you wasted.

Rules:- If you see an act/person/scenario/etc. depicted within the E! Special, you must take the drinks listed.

- A light beer is the lightest form of drink allowable if you want in the game, so a drink with an alcohol % of 4.5 is the lowest.  No going to the grocery store to get 3.2 acl.% beer to gain an advantage.

- If you puke, you lose.  Whether it be induced by drinks or the stupidity of the show.

-You can bow out if you feel as if you may pass out either from drinks or the complete stupidity of the show in general.  Just know that as you sober up you will still have to watch this trash as the rest of your group is getting more drunk and actually starting to find ways of enjoying the show.  So don't throw in the white flag too early.

-Final Rule…Drink up Sally!

Remember to print this off, have it close to you, also stock up on your drink of choice you’ll need a lot of it and stretch your drink lifting arm/hand to ensure you don’t cramp up midway through the wedding marathon.

Oh yeah…and drink responsibly.Let the madness begin:

Drink – Every time Kim and Kris Humphries (Mr. Kardashian) kiss. (Ahh…starting with a cute one….no not really, we are starting with one that will for sure get you trashed)

Drink – Every time the producers make it seem Scott (Kourtney’s baby daddy and recovering alchy (quitter)) is about to start drinking *heavily* again (we learned that Scott is back in the drinking game, making a Brett Favre like comeback but has been very under control with it so far but E! is trying to make it seem like he is about to go back to shoving dollar bills down waiter's mouths soon) at wedding festivities or ever.

Drink – Kris (the mom) neuters Bruce Jenner in front of everyone by ignoring him, laughing at him, taking him as serious as the general public takes the wedding vows being recited, making his genuine showings of affection seem like annoyances to her and turning it into an argument and in general making him look like an idiot on national TV.

2 Drinks – Every time E! goes to commercial with a panicking Kris/Kourtney/Khloe/Kim/Kris Humphries/Bruce, worried about the wedding maybe not happening.

Drink – Anytime a Kardashian talks bad about how the paparazzi are ruining the wedding or whatever festivity, even though without the paparazzi the Kardashians as a whole would be known as Bruce Jenner’s step kids.

Drink – Every time either Kourtney or Khloe are annoyingly acting like 5 year olds.

Drink – Every time the Kardashians go out to eat as a group. (Wedding dinner counts) (Either full family or all the way down to 1-1 dinners or drinks out)

Drink – Every time Kourtney brings up her kid (Mason)

Drink – Every time Mason is taking a nap (pretty much always).

Drink 2 – Drink every time you see an obvious face lifted person trying to smile or make a facial expression only for it to continue to be the same facial expression. (Keep your eyes on Bruce Jenner and Kris Jenner/Kardashian)

Social – Every time the Kardashian brother (I don’t know his name…don’t want to waste my time Googling it…so we’ll call him “Douchey”) Douchey acts….douchey.  (Since it’s a social drink you and the group you are with will make the judgment call) (Remember to tune into Dancing with the Stars to watch Douchey dance and be all....douchey on another platform!)

Drink – Whenever someone slams a door in anger.

Drink – For every Range Rover shown.

Drink – Every time Lamar Odom shows complete disinterest in the show, Khloe and life in general.

Drink – For any commercials that are for products endorsed by a Kardashian during breaks. (Sears? Seriously are we to believe Sears was their 1st choice?....SEARS!?!?)

Drink – Every time they show the ring that Kim bought herself.

Social – Every time you think Kim’s lady lumps are going to pop out or Khloe is going to have a nip slip moment.Drink - Every time any of the Kardashian siblings (my money is on Douchey saying it first) say or seem to be saying or are obviously lying about the fact they hate Kris.

Drink - Every time any of Kris Humphries family is on screen.

Drink - Every time any of Kris Humphries family actually are allowed to say something on camera.

Drink – For every time a cork is popped, be it champagne or wine.

Drink – For every NBA player you see at the wedding/festivities.

Give a Drink – If you are first to name the NBA player at the wedding/festivities.

Give 2 Drinks – If the player you named was a New Jersey Net not named Deron Williams.

Social – Every time you see a look of “WTF am I doing?” in Humphries eye’s. (Possibly the entire show)

Drink – Every time Kim gushes, “OMG-eeeee how beautiful is my Vera Wang (ha…Wang) dress?” in a valley girl voice.

Drink – Every time any family member gushes about the dress in annoying fashion as well.

And Finally…

Social – For when the vows are exchanged and “You may kiss the bride,” is announced.We have a week at the time this was posted, so please send us or comment with any of your ideas to add to the game and we will add them as they come in!  (with your name for credit if you want it)

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