Monday, December 19, 2011

NFL is Boring

Even Ugly Kyle Orton and the Chief's upset of the Pack was boring.

If you frequent STOB, as I do (as a writer I am contractually obligated to), you may have noticed the low amount of NFL talk we do here.  Why is that?  Why is it that a fledgling sports blog wouldn't talk that much NFL?  The NFL is the biggest sports league, leads every sports show during the NFL season and even after football season at certain times (draft, training camps, mini camps, etc.) and yet STOB rarely talks about it.  Why is that?  My only reason for not talking about the NFL is that it is boring outside of fantasy football or pick 'em leagues and nobody wants to read about why I suck at fantasy football.

"Wait, what?"

Yeah I suck at fantasy football, I know shocking I am such a great sports mind but...

"No, not that, that isn't surprising at all but the NFL is boring?"

Yeah, the NFL is boring when you watch it purely as a fan of the game.  Not making picks, not playing fantasy, not rooting on a playoff bound team.  If none of those previous statements fit you, then you probably agree with me.  I personally figured this out yesterday.

I had the entire Sunday to myself, my wife was doing some shopping with family all afternoon leaving me to my couch, with a case of GBP sitting near freezing temperature in my garage, NFL Redzone DVR'd so I could start it 1 hour late and skip past the amazingly annoying Scott Hansen break ins when every game is at commercial.  (Seriously Scott, you can't be that excited, you just can't) It was all set up to be a NFL fan's dream day of watching all the games "interesting" moments on Redzone and just enjoying the league.  Yet, I was out of my fantasy football league, well technically I was in the consolation bracket but that is like saying "technically there is still some brain activity after you get shot in the head", there is really no point.

So with no fantasy football implications to root on, I was looking at the slate of NFL games where there was really only one game that interested me at all.  New England rolling into Tebowland, and for one quarter I was intrigued as Tebow and the Bronco running backs ran all over the hapless Patriot defense and had Denver up.  Then reality hit in the form of Tom Brady and that game was obviously over pre-halftime.  Before that game though I had one other quarter of interest when the Kansas City Chiefs beat the once undefeated Green Bay Packers. 

One quarter of two games all day, that was it.  I couldn't fain interest in any other NFL game going.  Why?

First, I root for two teams in the NFL, neither passionately unless they are really good (call me bandwagon and I'll call you correct).  Those two teams, the Minnesota Vikings and Buffalo Bills, both suck so their games interested me less than listening to Scott Hansen getting more excited for a Dan Orlovsky 15 yard completion than most people get over the birth of their first child.  Thanks Lord for NFL Redzone, but thanks even more for the 30 second skip ahead button on my DVR!  So without any rooting interest at all, all the playoff scenarios that relied on the outcomes of the games going on meant nothing to me.

Second, as I noted before, I am out of my fantasy league.  So now watching the New York Giants getting pummelled by a bad Redskin team doesn't give me any pleasure because I am not rooting for Eli to continuously pass it to Victor Cruz.  Though I still did root for that the few times I didn't skip the Giants/Redskins game just to see if I could catch Cruz's great salsa touchdown dance. 

Third, I don't pick NFL games.  So I don't have anything riding on any of the outcomes of any of the games.

So after all of that I am left with watching the games for the pure fandom of the game of football in the NFL.  What other choice did I have?  Watching way over-commercialed midday movies on TNT/TBS and other cable channels of their ilk.  Why yes, that was my other choice...and I jumped on it and enjoyed The Hangover because even though it was a movie I had seen multiple times, it entertained me more than NFL with nothing riding on it.  It also made me want to go back to Vegas, something I never thought I would say pre my trip there this fall, which you can read about here. 

So what is the point of this write up?  Most people who would read this play fantasy football, or root for a team with the same passion in which I root for Duke basketball so they care even if their team is 2-12, and a good amount of both of those groups also do weekly pick 'em leagues.  So most of you care about the NFL and enjoy watching all the games due to those reasons.  I am writing this because when I am playing for something in fantasy I am fully engaged by a Jacksonville Jags vs. Carolina Panther game just to see if I can hang onto a victory against a buddies team that every year is named after a not so subtle reference to a penis or fornication or any other politically incorrect thing you can think of.  Yet, my wife, who god bless her most weeks sits with me and watches these game too, with little complaining, does not fit any of the criteria listed above.

Up until yesterday I never really understood why she didn't enjoy watching the NFL all day on Sundays.  Now I do, after yesterday.  It's freakin brutal.  Even with the amazing, no commercial, usually cutting to only good parts NFL Redzone, it is boring.  So I have two choices to be able to with a clear conscious attempt to talk my wife into watching the NFL all day Sundays with me next year (Yes I know there is more football this year, but I am done this year.  What's that there is a sale at *insert department store here* this Sunday?  I am in.) My choices are: A) get her into a fantasy league or pick em league or B) quit fantasy and not care about the NFL anymore unless one of my two teams is in a playoff race. 

I am going to attempt plan A, and if you are like me, I suggest you do the same to ensure marital harmony come Sundays in fall.



  1. Seasoned fans like me do not find the NFL boring. I find the NHL boring, truth be told.

  2. NFL could be boring at times I agree. I suggest you watch new york lacrosse because it's new and it's way more interesting.