Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Guess What Jason Statham Does in his Next Movie?

The view anyone playing a role opposite Statham likely sees.

I see that Jason Statham has a new movie coming out and I am shocked to see that he is a butt kicking tough guy.  I thought to myself, "Self, I wonder if Statham does anything other than be a bad ass that whoops the crap out of everyone?"  Heading over to IMDB I checked out all of Statham's past roles to see if he ever plays anything else.

I learned that my initial thought about Statham was even more true than I could imagine.

Statham's Biggest Roles Separated into Categories:

Retired Bad Ass Brought Back to Kicking Ass For Some Reason:

Safe - April 27, 2012
Character: Luke Wright
IMDB Description: A former elite agent takes on a two-tier mission: rescue a Chinese girl who's been abducted by the Triads, then use a safe combination to outwit the Russian Mafia, corrupt NYC officials, and the Triads themselves.

Killer Elite - September 23, 2011

Character: Danny

IMDB Description: When his mentor is taken captive, a retired member of Britain's Elite Special Air Service is forced into action. His mission: kill three assassins dispatched by their cunning leader.

Current Bad Ass...Kicking Ass:

Blitz - May 6, 2011

Character: Brant

IMDB Description: A tough cop is dispatched to take down a serial killer who has been targeting police officers.

The Mechanic - January 28, 2011

Character: Arthur Bishop

IMDB Description: Follows an elite hit man as he teaches his trade to an apprentice who has a connection to one of his previous victims.

The Expendables - August 13, 2010 

Character: Lee Christmas

IMDB Description: A team of mercenaries is given the assignment to take out a corrupt military leader and a rogue CIA operative on a Latin American island.

War - August 27, 2007
Character: Crawford
IMDB Description: An FBI Agent seeks vengeance on a mysterious assassin known as "Rogue" who murdered his partner.
Crank - September 1, 2006

Character: Chev Chelios

IMDB Description: Professional assassin Chev Chelios learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops.

Crank: High Voltage - April 17, 2009

IMDB Description: Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.

The Bank Job - March 7, 2008
Character: Terry Leather
IMDB Description: Martine offers Terry a lead on a foolproof bank hit on London's Baker Street. She targets a roomful of safe deposit boxes worth millions in cash and jewelry. But Terry and his crew don't realize the boxes also contain a treasure trove of dirty secrets - secrets that will thrust them into a deadly web of corruption and illicit scandal.

Guy who didn't know he was a bad ass, is put in a situation in which he ends up using his newly learned bad ass-ness:

The Transporter - October 11, 2002

Character: Frank Martin

IMDB Description: This film is about a man whose job is to deliver packages without asking any questions. Complications arise when he breaks those rules.

The Transporter 2 - September 2, 2005

IMDB Description: Mercenary Frank Martin, who specializes moving goods of all kinds, surfaces again this time in Miami, Florida when he's implicated in the kidnapping of the young son of a powerful USA official.

The Transporter 3 - November 26, 2008

IMDB Description: Frank Martin puts the driving gloves on to deliver Valentina, the kidnapped daughter of a Ukranian government official, from Marseilles to Odessa on the Black Sea. En route, he has to contend with thugs who want to intercept Valentina's safe delivery and not let his personal feelings get in the way of his dangerous objective.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale - January 11, 2007

Character: Farmer

IMDB Description: A man named Farmer sets out to rescue his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his son -- two acts committed by the Krugs, a race of animal-warriors who are controlled by the evil Gallian.

Revolver - September 22, 2005

Character: Jake Green

IMDB Description: Gambler Jake Green enters into a game with potentially deadly consequences.

Cartoon Voice:

Gnomeo & Juliet - February 11, 2011
Character: Tybalt
IMDB Description: The neighboring gardens of Montague and Capulet are at war, but the gnomes, Gnomeo and Juliet, are in love.

I guess Statham is just a bad ass...except for in one movie in which he is with Gnomeo, though he is actually the bad guy there as well.  I didn't even list all of his smaller or lesser known roles, in which the character he plays would fit in the any of these four categories (hint - not "Cartoon Voice"). 

Prior to acting he was part of a sport that isn't exactly "bad ass", but within the sport he was bad ass.  He was a Olympic diver on the British National Diving Team.  

A quick look ahead at what Statham has in post-production and coming out in the future and you see he isn't really straying too far away from his past roles.  "The Expendables 2" he plays the same mercenary as in "The Expendables".  Then in "Parker", Jason plays a kind of Robin Hood-esque thief (BA thief I am sure) that never steals from the poor.  And finally he has "Hummingbird", where he is a retired war vet that has his violent past come boiling back up when his girlfriend is arse.

Seems Statham has found a formula that works for him.  He is a bad ass.  You gotta problem with that?  Then he'll go all mercenary, assassin, former cop, former CIA or hit man on your butt.


  1. Your categories sound very Bill Simmons like.

  2. Well thanks Frank...I think. I would venture to guess that all sports/pop culture bloggers around my age will likely glean some of Bill Simmons style when writing. He is certainly someone I read often.