Monday, May 7, 2012

10 Things To Do if the Vikings Leave


After hours and hours of watching the live stream of the state capitol Vikings debate on STOB's homepage, I began to have a bad feeling I may need to find something to do other than watch the Vikings after they head out town.  So today I'll offer you ten options that you may find intriguing.  Or you may find them so horrible that you write your legislator and give them a piece of your mind on this issue.

10. Watch Khloe and Lamar -

Hey what better way to fill up your Sunday evenings, no longer full of digesting the Vikes game that day, than by taking in Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's life?  There is just so much meat on this bone of a reality show I don't even know where to start.  You can enjoy the couple eating out taking about themselves, going shopping talking about themselves, driving around aimlessly talking about themselves or sitting in their plush digs talking about why other people are talking about them.  What's that?  They quit?  Darn, guess this list is down to "9 things to do."

9. Read a book -

I heard there is this "mommy porn" thing that is all the rage right now.  You don't get mommy porn from Jared Allen and the boys.

8. Take a pole dancing class -

Derrick took the liberty of trying this idea out this past weekend after a few too many mint juleps.


7. Root for the Patriots -

Just say you have always been a fan, no one will ever know. (works for me with Duke)

6. Ride Bikes -

Be just like the dbags that ride down the middle of the road at 15 mph on a 55 mph road, only to then get mad at the drivers of CARS on a ROAD for getting just a bit too close to their Lance Armstrong inspired tights.

5. Be a Valkyrie fan -

Better scenery, better ticket price, doesn't take all day, higher scoring and Miss STOB plays for them.

4. Take a winery tour -

How fun would it be to crush grapes with your bare feet and then have that juice you squished between your wort filled toes fermented into wine?  Just look at how much fun it can be:

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3. Talk to your significant other on Sundays for a change -

Believe it or not on NFL Sundays they don't cease to exist.

2. Play Madden 98 and cry -

Gary Anderson won't miss if you control him...just watch:

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Son of a...

1. If all else fails crack open a cold one... -

I vote for this one.


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