Thursday, October 23, 2014

Lorde Have Mercy

The poor Giants will never be Royals. Sure, they have seen diamonds in the flesh, but not this year. They will most likely be watching sappy wedding movies on the flight back to San Francisco and maybe, just maybe they can cut their teeth on the ring that Freddy Prince Jr proposes to Sarah Michelle Geller with.
I tell you this though; it’s a good thing they aren’t from Oakland. If they were, they wouldn’t be proud of their address. Have you seen that place? It’s just a torn-up town. There would be no way other teams would have postcode envy.  So at least that got that going for them.
They must be getting sick of all the love for Kansas City though. I mean, they all have gold teeth and bottles of grey goose and they just trip in the bathroom. It’s crazy. Rumor has it all the hotels are trashed. Rooms just filled with blood stains and groupie ball gowns.
Could you imagine; the only way the Giants ever get to drive a Cadillac is in their dreams. All while the Royals drink Cristal, while they drive Maybach’s and have diamonds on their timepiece. When the Royals fly around it’s on jet planes going to islands while they have the bat boy walk their tiger on a gold leash. How could you not be jealous?
The Giants pretend to not care and get all caught up in the love affair, but how could they not? I mean, they will never be Royals, but still; it’s got to be hard.
Problem is it just doesn’t run in their blood. They claim to crave a different kind of buzz, whatever that means. And they are so stuck up. They all want to be called the “Queen Bee”. I don’t know, maybe it’s that west coast thing. All day they just talk about ruling a fantasy. Crazy if you ask me.
Oh I suppose they could end up winning this whole thing and they will say, “My friends and I – We’ve cracked the code”. If and when that time comes, I’ll ask if I can count their dollars on the train headed to the party. They will just say take it all because everyone knows they are fine with it seeing as they don’t come from money.
But no matter what happens, these Giants will never be Royals. They will just try to live the fantasy.

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